Behind the Game
by Peanuty Boy
Summary: This is the spoofs from the FFX game. Some swearing and violence. CHAPTER 8 UP! Note, this story is back by popular demand after 7 years! Thanks for the support!
1. Chapter 1

Dislaimer: Final Fantasy and its characters do not belong to me. They belong to whichever great wonderful person created them. The only thing that's mine is this weird little 'fic', if you can call it that. Any resemblance to any person/persons living or dead is purely coincidental. I've always wanted to say that (. With that said, on to the author's note.  
  
A/N: These are the 'out-takes' for the Final Fantasy game. Possibility of a spoiler later on. But it's only a possibility. I'm going to be making this up as I go. For the format, the beginning of each chapter will have a normal story format, then it will switch to script form. You'll see what I mean. And with that said, on to this fic thingy.  
  
Final Fantasy X: behind the game.  
  
By: Peanuty Boy (If you didn't know this, lie down, you are going to hurt yourself)  
  
The Final Fantasy set was bustling with activity. Cast and crew scurried all around the set in the few minutes they had before shooting.  
  
"Could someone tell me why I'm wearing this costume again?" the Tidus character was asking aloud.  
  
"Oh, don't be a silly billy. It's very fashionable." The director replied. "Besides, you look very attractive in it."  
  
"Wonderful…" Tidus groaned.  
  
"Ok, people, clear the set!" the director shouted, "We're ready to shoot!" People frantically cleared the way off to the sidelines.  
  
"Are we ready? Ok, people, first take! Lights! Camera! ACTION!"  
  
  
  
*opening scene*  
  
The group sits around the fire.  
  
Tidus ::stands and walks past Yuna then climbs onto the rock.::  
  
The Final Fantasy X words drop down on a wire, swing, and hit Tidus.  
  
Tidus ::falls off the rock:; BAH!  
  
Director Ok, I think we need to go with cg title after all…  
  
  
  
*front of the stadium*  
  
Tidus ::runs up to the front of the stadium. The crowd rushes towards him and surrounds him, then several people grab each limb and begin tugging, they eventually tear him apart::  
  
Director Ok… When I said 'Act like you all want a piece of him' I didn't mean to tear his limbs out… Bring in the Stand-in, and this time, be more gentle?  
  
  
  
*first fight scene*  
  
sinscale ::gang up on Tidus and slash him to pieces::  
  
director What's wrong with those machines?!  
  
Crewman Uh…………….machines?  
  
Sinscale ::run rampant across the set, killing random crew members.:  
  
Dirrector SOMEONE CALL ANIMAL CONTROL! And we need another Tidus too…  
  
  
  
*running across the building*  
  
Tidus and Auron ::begin to run across the exploding building.::  
  
Tidus ::falls into an open window::  
  
Director ::sighs:: cut…  
  
  
  
*running across the building, take 2*  
  
Tidus and Auron ::running across the building::  
  
Tidus ::jumps at the ledge, misses falls::  
  
Director What happened to the support cables?!  
  
Crewman Sir, remember those budget cuts…?  
  
Director damn it!  
  
  
  
A/N: Well? This is the first chapter. Please review on the basis of 1-5. They mean as follows:  
  
OMG! This was hilarious! I had to go to the hospital; I was laughing so hard I ruptured something!  
  
That's some very funny stuff. Laughed a lot.  
  
Eh… It was ok. Write some more though.  
  
Are you kidding? What a joke! You need to take writing lessons.  
  
*you cant respond. You are staring at the screen brain-dead with drool hanging from your lip because of this crap*  
  
I will take any and all comments. Even bad ones. If I get 5 3's and above, I'll continue. If not, may God have mercy on my soul. 


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Final Fantasy is not mine, blah blah, check the first chapter.  
  
A/N: Thanks to the people who reviewed. Hopefully I'll get more as time goes on. Anyway, here we go.  
  
Final Fantasy X: Behind the Game  
  
Author: Peanuty Boy  
  
"Alright, people, day two. Come on." The Director called out.  
  
"That guy is annoying, ya?" Wakka muttered to the others.  
  
"Yeah, he keeps winking at me and stuff…" Tidus said.  
  
"Let's go, people. We've got work to do." The director walked by the group. "You too, hot stuff." He gave Tidus a sharp smack on the ass. Then he was met by a fist to the face, followed by the ground.  
  
"Quick, let's get rid of him." Tidus said as he and Wakka lifted the director and threw him on one of those little carts that run around movie sets that happened to be driving by.  
  
"Well, what are we going to do about our director?" Auron asked.  
  
"Uh… Wakka can take over!" Tidus said.  
  
"Me? Oh no, I don't think so, brudda." Wakka backed away, shaking his head.  
  
"Aw, come on. Just until we can find a new director." Tidus pleaded.  
  
"Oh, alright… Let's get started then, ya?"  
  
*after sin*  
  
Tidus ::floating through the air. Gets in a Buzz Lightyear position:: To infinity and beyond! ::zooms off. Others off camera laugh.::  
  
Wakka I don't think you were supposed to say that…  
  
Tidus sorry… Couldn't help it.  
  
*crumbling path*  
  
Tidus ::walking along the stone edge.::  
  
Wakka ::sees a little remote device on the arm of his chair.:: ooo, what's this do? ::pushes the button::  
  
Tidus ::small explosion goes off under the path, it crumbles below him and he falls into the water::  
  
Wakka Oopsie… My bad… Um… just go with it, ya? What's a little ad- libbing gonna hurt?  
  
*starting a fire*  
  
Tidus S-so… cold…. N-need… heat. ::puts grass on the wood and takes out the flint:: *click*click*click*click*click* ……….. *click*click*click*click*click*click*click* ……………………… *click*click*click*click*click*click*click*click*click* What the hell is with these things?!  
  
Wakka Cut…  
  
  
  
*starting a fire- take 2*  
  
Tidus S-so… cold…. N-need… heat. ::puts grass on the wood and takes out the flint::  
  
*click*  
  
*a huge fireball erupts from the center of the room*  
  
Tidus ::runs around screaming, on fire:: GAAAAAAAAAH!  
  
Wakka What happened?!  
  
Kimahri ::whistles innocently and kicks the half empty can of lighter fluid away::  
  
*waking up*  
  
*the fire starts to go out*  
  
Tidus No! Don't go out! Pl---  
  
*the small embers suddenly erupt into a burning fireball again*  
  
Tidus ::runs around on fire:: GAAAAAAAAAAAH!  
  
Wakka DAMN IT, KIMAHRI!  
  
*Fighting klikk*  
  
Tidus ::hits the monster with his sword then backs away::  
  
*the door explodes*  
  
Tidus ::gets hit by one of the doors:: Ow….. Medic….  
  
  
  
A/N: Yay, end part 2. I don't know how long this will go on for. Either a) till I run out of story, or b) till I run out of ideas. Either way we're in for a lot of fun, ya? Again, please review in the same fashion. Until next time. 


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: You know the drill. FFX aint mine. STOP ASKING!  
  
A/N: I was struck with inspiration, so I wrote the 3rd chapter too. Have fun.  
  
Final Fantasy X: Behind the Game  
  
Author: Peanuty Boy  
  
"I am not doing this another day." Wakka grumbled.  
  
"But, what about our director?" Yuna asked.  
  
"One of you will have to do it. Besides, I have to do a scene today." Wakka replied.  
  
"Mel Gibson directed and stared in his movies at the same time." Lulu said.  
  
"And he also had his stomach ripped out at the end of it." Wakka grunted.  
  
"Fine." Tidus sighed. "We'll just… uh…" he looked around. "Ah, here." He grabbed two guys walking by. "Either of you know anything about directing?"  
  
"Well, I went to a theatrical college and got a masters degree in directing." The first guy said.  
  
"What about you?" Tidus asked the second guy.  
  
"Uh… well… I once shoved a grape up my nose and spit it out my mouth." The man replied.  
  
"Really? Wow, you can take the job."  
  
"Uh, but what about---" the first man began.  
  
"Tough luck, now get off the set." Tidus interrupted  
  
. The man walked away grumbling.  
  
"Alright… well… I guess we get started then." The new director said, sitting in his chair.  
  
*After the boss battle*  
  
*Rikku is arguing with the others in Al-Bhed*  
  
Director ::walks onto the set:: just a quick question, am I getting paid for this?  
  
Tidus You dumbass! You ruined the take!  
  
Director Did I? Oh, sorry.  
  
Tidus ::sighs::  
  
*after the boss battle-take 2*  
  
*Rikku is arguing with the others in Al-Bhed*  
  
Director ::walks back on:: but I am getting paid though, right?  
  
Tidus GET OFF THE SET!  
  
*an Al-Bhed guy says something in that cool, funky little language of theirs*  
  
Rikku No, you may not shoot the director…  
  
*Underwater ship*  
  
Tidus ::beating on the console::  
  
Computer Destruct sequence: activated. 10…9…8…  
  
Tidus …….  
  
*onboard the ship*  
  
Rikku ::gives Tidus food::  
  
Tidus Hey, alright! ::wolfs it down, begins choking::  
  
Rikku ::hands him a canteen::  
  
Tidus ::gulps it down. He pauses for a few minutes, then a slight rumbling is heard, then Tidus runs off set, holding his stomach.  
  
Director what happened?  
  
Rikku ::looking at the bottle:: I think I gave him laxative by mistake…  
  
Director Where the hell did you get a bottle of laxative?!  
  
Rikku? Um… I really don't know…  
  
Kimahri ::coughs and tosses a canteen of water behind his back::  
  
  
  
*On the beach*  
  
Tidus ::finds the blitzball and kicks it back onto shore::  
  
Wakka ::gets hit on the face and falls unconscious::  
  
Director Um…  
  
*cliff above the lagoon*  
  
Wakka ::pushes Tidus off the cliff::  
  
Tidus ::misses the water and hits a rock with a sickening crunch::  
  
Wakka ::stares over the cliff for a moment, then over his shoulder, then back down the cliff, then shrugs and walks away::  
  
A/N: And there's part 3. Hope you had as much fun as I did… ::waves a small flag:: 


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: By now you should know that FFX is not mine. Do I really have to keep repeating myself?  
  
A/N: Thank you all very much for the reviews. I'm so excited. I never expected this fic would be doing as well as it is. This is a lot better than my other stories, heh. Anyway, I'll put up the next section after this. I just played the game and got some more inspiration.  
  
Final Fantasy X: Behind the Game.  
  
Author: Peanuty Boy  
  
It was the fourth day of shooting.  
  
"Does anyone have food? I can't work on an empty stomach." Tidus complained.  
  
"Jeez, you're always hungry." Wakka sighed.  
  
"Hey, laxative makes me hungry for a few days." The others stared at him.  
  
"Riiight…"  
  
"Good morning, people. Is everyone here?" the director came onto the set.  
  
"Where the hell have you been?" Auron shouted. "We shoot in five minutes!"  
  
"Yes… well… at least im here, right?" the director said  
  
"Hmph, I'm starting to like the old director better, ya?" Wakka muttered. He stared into space for a moment. "What the hell am I saying?!"  
  
"Do I have time to grab a bagel?" the director asked.  
  
"NO!" everyone shouted in unison.  
  
"Right… well *cough* Let's begin…"  
  
*cliff above besaid*  
  
Wakka This is where I was born.  
  
Tidus ::goes over to the rope and looks down below the cliff. Leans too far and falls over.::  
  
Director Damn it! What is it with this kid and cliffs?!  
  
*above besaid*  
  
Wakka We haven't won a game in 10 years… After that last tournament I quit… …. Hold on a sec, I'm confused.  
  
Director ::sighs:: what's the problem, Wakka?  
  
Wakka If I quit last year, how come I'm playing again?  
  
Director How should I know? I didn't write the story.  
  
Wakka I just think it's weird.  
  
Director Can we just redo the take?!  
  
  
  
*In besaid*  
  
Wakka You remember the prayer, right?  
  
Tidus I don't pray! I worship the Devil!  
  
Director Tidus… You're starting to scare me…  
  
Tidus BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  
  
*In besaid*  
  
Wakka ::shows him the prayer:: Go present yourself to the high summoner, ya?  
  
Tidus ::doing voice over:: Every blitzball player knew that was the blitzball sign for victory. Why these freaks devote that much of their pathetic lives to a game is beyond me.  
  
Director Who let him record that?!  
  
::a few people off screen chuckle along with Tidus::  
  
*In besaid*  
  
Tidus ::goes to open a treasure chest. A bunch of rubber snakes pop out::  
  
Wakka He fell for the old snake-in-the-chest gag!  
  
Director Wakka…..  
  
A/N: Ok, kinda short. I'm writing the next section though. Keep adding reviews! 


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: Apparently you're not going to leave me alone about this… FINE I'm saying it one last time. *exasperated sigh* FINAL FANTASY IS NOT MINE. I DID NOT CREATE IT. THE ONLY THING I CAN TAKE CREDIT FOR IS THIS FIC. I really can't even take credit for the idea cause I'm not the one who thought of spoofs….. anyway!  
  
A/N: After reading the reviews for section 4, I really must say I am surprised. I thought this stuff might be getting a chuckle or two from 1 or 2 people. And here we are almost at 20. *sniff* I'm so proud…. Thanks to all you little people who are taking time out of your busy lives to say you like my fic! Also…… I have something very drastic to say… But I don't want to ruin your fun so I'll put it at the end. Also, thanks for the suggestion, Malathyne, that's really something I'm going to have to consider. I'll just wait for an appropriate time. Now, enough of my mindless rambling. On to the fic.  
  
Final Fantasy X: Behind the Game  
  
Author: Peanuty Boy.  
  
Day 5 on the Final Fantasy Set. The crew was standing in front of the Besaid Temple.  
  
"Hey, I don't know if we should be shooting here… This is a real religious place, not some fake set, ya…?" Wakka waid uneasily.  
  
"Hey, all great movies shoot on location. This will enhance it! Besides, we'll leave soon to go to the trials chamber on the set. We wont be here long." the Director shouted.  
  
*Quick A/N: I just wanted to make clear that the temple is real, but the Trials will be a fake set… It goes along with one of my gags x.x*  
  
"But… What if we anger their God?" Wakka asked.  
  
"Ok, people! Let's get moving!  
  
"I got a bad feeling…"  
  
*Inside the Temple*  
  
Tidus ::looks around. Then doing voice over:: It was when I was standing in that place, I began to realize how much these freaks scare me…  
  
Director Damn it! Someone tell the Audio Department not to let him mess with the recordings!  
  
*inside the temple*  
  
Tidus ::goes over to the Braska Statue. Looks at it for a while, then taps it::  
  
:The statue creaks, leans, then falls on some people praying.:  
  
Tidus o.o ::looks around then walks away whistling casually:: guess they don't make them like they used to…  
  
*::sigh:: inside the temple…*  
  
Tidus ::watches some people praying:: Hmm… ::he decides to try praying too::  
  
Random praying person No! You're doing the prayer wrong! You'll anger the—  
  
Big booming voice YOU HAVE FOULED THE SACRED PRAYER! NOW YOU WILL PAY!  
  
:A bunch of the statues spring to life and start chasing people around:  
  
Director ::watching wide eyed.: Right, I think we should leave, NOW!  
  
Wakka Hmph. No one lis-GAH! ::runs from a statue::  
  
*waking up from the nap*  
  
Tidus ::taking a nap, wakes up to find himself no longer in Wakka's cabin.:: WHAT THE?! ::he is hanging in a tree by his underwear, which is the only thing he's wearing::  
  
:Everyone bursts out laughing:  
  
Tidus THIS ISNT FUNNY!  
  
*inside the trials*  
  
Tidus ::stares at the glyph. Reaches a hand out and touches it. He accidentally pokes through the Styrofoam wall.:: Whoops…  
  
  
  
*Yuna emerges*  
  
Yuna ::comes out of the chamber, staggering about::  
  
Khimari ::looking at his fingernails::  
  
Yuna ::falls and rolls down the stairs::  
  
Khimari oops…  
  
Director You were supposed to catch her!  
  
Yuna owie…  
  
  
  
*Summoning the Aeon*  
  
Yuna ::dances around::  
  
:the little symbols start to appear, the big flash in the sky::  
  
Valefor ::zooms down from the sky and towards Yuna. Accidentally flys too low and hits the townspeople.  
  
Yuna Strike!  
  
Director yuna!  
  
Yuna sorry…  
  
A/N: That's the end of section 5. Now, for that bad news…. Over the next 2 weeks, my writing will be a little slow. During the weekdays I have to babysit my sister, next weekend we're going camping, and then the week after that is more babysitting. I have to play the game through and write down the spoofs as I go, so since I wont be able to play much, I can't write. Anyway, thanks again for the reviews, keep them coming! 


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: STOP BADGERING ME!!!  
  
A/N: Sorry it took so long, I've been swamped. But anyway, here it is.  
  
Final Fantasy X: Behind the Game  
  
Author: Peanuty Boy  
  
  
  
"Hmph, I tried to tell everyone, but nooo. No one ever listens to Wakka." Wakka grumbled.  
  
"Alright, people. We have to get moving. The whole temple incident set us back a few days." The director came onto the set.  
  
"Maybe it wouldn't have set us back if you would have listened!" Wakka shouted.  
  
"Look, buddy, I'm the director around here. What I say goes, got it?" Wakka glared at the director and brought out his blitzball. Tidus and Auron held him back.  
  
"Relax, just ignore it." Auron advised.  
  
"This guy had better watch it, ya?" Wakka muttered.  
  
"Places people, let's move it!"  
  
*After the rest*  
  
Tidus ::runs out to meet Wakka and Lulu: BLARG!!!!  
  
Wakka Whats---AUGH!!!  
  
Lulu What's everyone's problem?  
  
Director Lulu! Your dress!  
  
Lulu ::looks down:: Oopsie! ::pulls the top of her dress up a bit::  
  
Wakka I need a cold shower ::runs off::  
  
:several male crew members agree and also run off:  
  
  
  
*After the rest, take 2*  
  
Tidus ::runs out::  
  
Wakka Hey! Sleepyhead! There's somethin' I wanna give ya. ::hands him the sword.  
  
Tidus Whoa! You're giving this to me?! ::swings it about::  
  
*slice*  
  
Wakka AUGH! MY EYE!!!  
  
Tidus . . .  
  
  
  
*Yuna arrives*  
  
Yuna ::emerges from the temple. Walks down the steps. Her luggage tips over. She bends down to pick it up but slips and rolls down the steps:: oof! Ouch! Ow! Eep! Nya!  
  
Director Cut...  
  
  
  
*leaving Besaid*  
  
Wakka Ok! Off we go!  
  
:the four stand side by side, link arms, and begin to skip:  
  
the four We're off to see the temples! The wonderful temples of Spira!  
  
Director cut! Cut!  
  
*the first fight*  
  
Wakka Here comes one now! Hey, why don't you try out that sword I gave you?  
  
Tidus ::jumps at the monster::  
  
Monster ::dodges, then jumps on Tidus and claws him to pieces.::  
  
*the first fight, take 2*  
  
Wakka A flyer! My kind of customer!  
  
Bird ::flies up, over Tidus and Wakka, grabs the director by the shoulder and carries him away::  
  
Director AAAHHH!!! CUT DAMN IT!!! SOMEONE DO SOMETHING!!!  
  
Wakka ::throws the blitzball. It hits the director, who passes out::  
  
Tidus You missed…  
  
Wakka No, I just wanted to shut him up.  
  
  
  
A/N A little short, but I have to leave it there for the next chapter, which should be up within the next…..week? ::dodges rocks and tomatoes:: sorry! I can't help it! I'm sooo busy! Until next time! ::dives off the stage:: 


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy X or anything related. I claim ownership to this piece of literature and ask that it not be duplicated without my permission.

A/N: There has been a 7 year wait between this chapter and the last. For those that urged me to continue, I thank you for your support. I'm going to try to keep the same pace as I had with the first 6 chapters, so hopefully we will stay on track with the funnies. Enjoy!

Final Fantasy X: Behind the Game

"So, Yuna, I can't help but notice how well we work together." Tidus leaned into Yuna with a cheeky grin. Yuna let out an exasperated sigh.

"Look, just because there is a hint of attraction between us ON-SCREEN doesn't mean you'll be getting anywhere any time soon, buddy." Yuna responded with a slightly disgusted look.

"What? Can't a guy comment on your wonderful side-boob---I mean acting! Acting! Ack!" Yuna slapped Tidus sharply across the face and stormed away.

"You better watch it with her, brudda." Wakka walked forward with his arms folded. "Besides, we have bigger things to worry about. We need to continue the scene and we have no director."

"Yeah, you're right." Tidus sighed. "Y'know, directing doesn't seem so hard. I could take over until we find a replacement for that last guy."

"I dunno if I like the idea of taking orders from you, no offense."

"It's either that or you can direct again."

"Point taken. Let's get started, ya?"

*Fighting the aqua flan*

Wakka: You need magic to defeat it. Lulu, you're up.

Lulu: ::running up:: Clueless, aren't---OOF" ::trips over the mountain of leather straps that make up her dress.

*Kimahri's entrance*

Kimahri: ::jumps across the tops of ruins, lands directly on Tidus, crushing him into the ground.::

Tidus: URGH! What the hell Kimahri!

Kimahri: Accident. ::flashes claws:: You call Kimahri liar?!

Tidus: Erm… no… I must have moved… lets just go again…

*Departing Besaid*

Yuna: ::waves to crying villagers, then sighs and leans up against edge of boat:: Thank Yevon we're away from that place. Those people are nuts!

Tidus: Um, Yuna… we're still at the dock…

Yuna: Eh? ::looks out at pissed off villagers:: oh…

Tidus: Cut… Lets just leave that out…

*On the ship*

Tidus: ::walks up to Yuna and leans on the ropes. Rope suddenly snaps and Tidus falls into the water:: ACK CUUUUuuuuutt….*splash*

Kimahri: ::twirls scissors on his finger then throws them overboard::

*On the ship after sin-deleted scene*

Wakka: Tidus fell! I'm going after him!

Yuna: But you'll drown!

Wakka: Don't worry, I'm Japanese, I can do superhuman feats like breathing underwater as long as it goes with the story! ::dives::

*The Sending*

Yuna: ::goes to step off the dock and onto the water, falls in:: Ack! *sputter* What happened, I'm supposed to be able to walk!

Guy off-camera: Sorry, we forgot to switch to the cutscene. The normal animation couldn't handle that action.

Yuna: ……………………………..what?

*The sending*

Yuna: ::performing the dance on the water. The water spouts up to lift her off the surface but sprays too hard and blows her dress up in a Marylin Monroe-esque moment.:: Turn it off!  
Wakka: ::looks to Tidus:: Aren't you going to call cut?"

Tidus: ::stares blankly:: No. No I'm not.

*Stone Steps in Kilika Forest*

Wakka: These stone steps have a history.

Two blitzball teamate are on the side, stretching and chuckling.

Tidus: A race, huh?

Teamate: No, We're laughing at that. ::points behind Tidus to Yuna falling down the steps::

Tidus: Cut…

*Stone Steps in Kilika Forest*

Wakka: These stone steps have a history.

Two blitzball teamate are on the side, stretching and chuckling.

Tidus: A race, huh?

The four line up

Wakka: Yuna, if you would?

Yuna: ::steps forward to signal start of race, slips and falls down the steps.

Tidus: Damn it Yuna, cut!

*Stone Steps in Kilika Forest*

Wakka: These stone steps have a history.

Two blitzball teamate are on the side, stretching and chuckling.

Tidus: A race, huh?

The four line up.

Wakka: Yuna, if you would?

Yuna: Steps forward. Ready ::takes off running, laughing, then reappears again falling backwards down the steps and past the group::

Tidus: You know what, we're done for the day…

A/N: Well there it is, I hope after 7 years I could keep up the humor. On a side note, I added the 'deleted scene' because I wanted to bring attention to the fact that they seem to be able to breathe underwater, but I couldn't bring it up in a blooper. I hope I didn't lose anyone with it n.n. Anyway, at the rate I'm going I should have chapter 8 done by 2016! Haha! *ahem* ok I'll leave the jokes for the fic…


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: I own FF! J/k smiley, I don't… I don't have anything to do with it. Except for this fic.

A/N: Sorry for the long update. Having to work sucks. I'm going to try to update twice a week from now on, that is if I get enough praise, bwahaha!

Final Fantasy X: Behind the Game

By Peanuty Boy

Chapter 8: Bringing Sexy Back (zomg there are chapter titles now?!)

"No, I won't do it again, you people are nuts." Tidus shook his head and turned from Wakka.

"What happened, Brudda? I thought directing didn't seem so hard." Wakka put Tidus into a headlock and gave him a noogie.

"Stop that damnit! You'll mess up my perfect hair!" Tidus squeezed himself from Wakka's arm and ran his fingers through his hair. "Look, we just need to find someone else to direct… but who?"

Suddenly Tidus is interrupted by several fan girls squealing. Tidus and Wakka turn to Seymour walking on the set, accompanied by Justin Timberlake's 'Bringing Sexy Back' playing from nowhere.

"I hear you need a director. _(bringing sexy back, bringing sexy back)_" Seymore said, striking a dashing pose which elicited more squeals.

"Who are you?" Tidus asked, upset that someone was stealing his fan girls.

"Seymour. I join the cast today. And since I've heard your last director wasn't up to par, I've decided to volunteer. (_bringing sexy back, bringing sexy back)_." More squeals followed Seymour's self introduction. Tidus was now visibly annoyed.

"Not up to par?! _(bringing sexy back, bringing sexy back_)-damn it stop saying that! And what makes you think you're a better director than me?!" Tidus stomped his foot, raising a fist.

"Simple, of all the men here, I have the most chest exposed." Seymore said matter-of factly.

"He's got a point, Brudda." Wakka nodded in agreement. Tidus sputtered.

"Wha-no he doesn't! How the hell is that a point!"

Wakka seemed to ignore him. "Alright then, we got a new director, maybe we can get started, ya?"

"Yes, lets get started, MWAHAHAHAHA!" Seymour let out a wicked laugh then walked to the director chair.

"He just laughed evilly, we can't trust---" but no one seemed to pay attention.

*Kilika temple*

Tidus: ::takes the kilika sphere out of the spot and the fire disappears. Walks onto the platform, suddenly the floor bursts back into flames again:: AAAHHH! FIRE!!!

Kimahri: ::walks away from the new kilika sphere placed back on the wall::

*Luca Docks, meeting Maester Mika*

Mika: And now, I'd like you all to meet the new Maester, Maester Seymour.

Seymour: ::appears at the top of the plank, suddenly 'bringing sexy back' starts to play::

Tidus: Just because you're the director doesn't mean you can add music to the game!

Seymour: :;sighs:: and now you've ruined the take, I guess we have to cut.

Wakka: Way to go, bonehead.

Tidus: But…!

*Searching for Auron*

Tidus: I know, if we get separated, just whistle, like this ::puts fingers in mouth and whistles::

Yuna: Like this…? ::puts fingers in mouth and spits all over Tidus's face::

*During blitzball game*

Wakka: ::gets hit by one of the Al-Bhed. Then another. And another… And is soon taking a beating::

Al-Bhed: Dryd femm daylr oui du ryda Al-Bheds! (That will teach you to hate Al-Bheds!)

Tidus: I knew we shouldn't have used foreign actors! Aren't you even going to stop this?!

Seymour: ::rolling on the ground laughing:: Of course not, this is priceless! This is going in to the game!

*Fighting Oblitzerator on the ship*

Lulu: ::casts lightning on the crane:: There, use the crane!

Crane: ::springs to life, hovers over the oblitzerator, then decends and grabs Tidus, throwing him overboard::

Khimari: ::walks away from crane controls::

Tidus: ::climbs back on board, spitting out water:: That's it, I'm standing by the crane now!

*Sinspawn show up after Blitzball*

Tidus, Auron, and Wakka: ::fighting sinspawn::

Seymour: ::summons anima:: bringing sexy back, bringing sexy back

Tidus: Oh come on!

*At Rin's Travel Agency*

::Tidus and Yuna are talking during the sunset::

Yuna: We must summon the final Aeon… at Zanarkand…

Tidus: Zanarkand?

Auron: ::stumbles up:: She means Zanarkand the ruins… ruined! Like this damn arm! *hic* I mean what the hell?! Why does my damn arm have to be all limp?! *hic* It's hard to pick up chicks when you have an arm like this! *hic* They say things like "I bet that isn't the only limp part of his body" *hic*

Seymour: Is he… drunk? Someone take away that sake jug.

Auron: I think I peed myself…

*Fighting Chocobo eater*

Chocobo eater: ::escapes from animal control, beats the party senseless and pushes them back off the cliff::

Animal Control Guy: Uh, sir? That wasn't supposed to happen… Don't you want to call cut?

Seymour: ::busy waving flags saying "go C.E." :: What's that? Sure it was supposed to happen. Cut, print, and… uh… I think we're done for the day. Those guys wont be able to do another scene for a while. _(bringing sexy back, bringing sexy back)_

*end*

A/N: Huzzah for another one down! As stated, I will try to update twice a week. I'll go for Sunday's and Wednesday's if possible… but hard to say for sure. Be sure to leave plenty of nice comments, it motivates me to write more! ::dances away singing Bringing Sexy Back::


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